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“This all boils down to confidence, and, to a woman, there is nothing sexier than a man with confidence.” Yet, when it comes to the Bad Boy, cockiness can be mistaken for confidence.

It’s easy to slip into the unhealthy habits of the hookup culture, but this also normalizes behavior we shouldn’t tolerate from sexual partners – case in point, the Bad Boy.

Confucius says " nice guy or not, women will just not understand.

Its not about how nice the guy is but how they relate in the relationship"^^Bodykiss, ori e pe.

However, I had a few readers who still had some questions.

Some of the questions came from a group of people I call . They do everything they believe they are "supposed" to do for their lovers.

A little history…I’m 28, divorced with two young kids, they live at home. He’s relatively attractive but not my usual type or taste. When there’s a rare exception to that rule, we call it love.

He is 37, divorced with one teenage kid that he sees every other weekend. I can’t figure out if I’m attracted to him or the fact that he’s a good guy. Calls, writes me letters, texts, takes me out, does family outings, asks about my day, washes my car, is clean, is fit, responsible, understanding, compliments me, etc, etc. We don’t get too much opportunity to spend alone time so we’ve only slept with each other twice. He’s completely fallen for me, thinks I’m strong, independent, beautiful, good mom, etc. Then the dilemma becomes do I let this great guy go and regret it afterward? As I see it, you’re asking a few separate questions here. You may be confounding to men, but you’re definitely not crazy and definitely not wrong…. We can break it down to its elemental components, but that thing that you feel, which draws you to a man? No more than the base attraction a man has to a woman when he sees her across a crowded room.

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The messages of taking personal responsibility to become a valuable mate, learning to make others trade fairly, and finding internal validation, all seemed to make a connection with readers.

He’s that boy in your class who offers you his lecture notes.

He’s that guy on your floor who stops to hear about your day.

So he usually gets involved with psychos that latch on to him. I like my space and I don’t care if I never see you again. A guy in my life is “nice to have” but by no means a need. Check out more from one of the original masters, David De Angelo. But the attitude that plays the best with the most women is generally some version of “cocky and funny.” Of course, most women outgrow men who are so cocky that they are unable to forge bonds with a woman.

Guys come and go but my family, especially my kids, are forever. De Angelo puts into plain words what you just feel in your bones: confident, decisive, witty, and somewhat unpredictable men are the most attractive. But the desire for a man with a little swagger never entirely wanes.